Saturday, October 4, 2014

101 Star Wars Variations 71: Han Legion

"Now that it's all over, let me explain."

Luke was staring dumbfounded after Han stepped forward, at the end of the fight, when the Empire finally stood defeated, after they'd all left Endor, as Leia and other leaders of the Rebellion each turned to him in kind and began offering their profound gratitude. 

"I led the Rebellion.  It was no mistake that I was there on Tatooine that day.  The way Chewie played it, that was just Chewie being Chewie.  He still thinks of me as just a friend and partner.  He agreed to help transport you off the planet, but there was really no other option that day.  He was always skeptical of my other duties, thinks I'm suffering from, I don't know, delusions of grandeur or something.

"I took on the assignment of bringing you into the Rebellion personally.  It was Leia's idea, of course, her being your sister and all.  You had your father's last name.  You were the bait he couldn't refuse, and with him the Emperor.  Simple logic, really.  Everyone knew how serious we were about this plan because I undertook it personally.  I don't believe in modesty: you were always safe, pal.  I made sure of that.

"I mean, I was always there to watch your back, wasn't I?  I miraculously showed up so you could take the shot that destroyed the first Death Star.  My gamble at Cloud City put you at great risk, I admit now, but it all worked out.  It was exactly the thing you needed to realize your full potential.  I don't blame you if you start to get a little mad at me, by the way.

"It was a gamble that paid off, by the way.  Your father and the Emperor, they were obsessed with you from that moment on, and it was exactly the mistake we needed to set all our ducks in a row, as it were.  Eliminate them, eliminate the second Death Star, eliminate the Empire. 

"Need I even mention how-placed Lando was to assist in all of this?  I admit, I didn't think we could pull it off, and I feel sorry, I really do, in resorting to all that trickery to get the job done, but the less you knew the less the enemy knew, the easier to accomplish our goal.  And guess what, pal, we did!  We won.

"End of story, right?"

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