(first appeared in "The Nagus," first season)
I assume the contracts have all been signed for the exclusivity rights on Ferenginar? You've paid your interview fee? Have you tipped me yet for this privilege? Good!
I would never have come to the station if it weren't for that scheme I'd cooked up for my no-good son, who was so ungrateful for the expense of it all that I wrote him out of my will, and then charged him a considerable fee to be added back in. Very profitable!
If it weren't for the wormhole, I don't think I would have ever returned, but then I would never have gotten so involved with that bartender's family, and if I hadn't met Ishka, where would I be? No, seriously, I'm asking, and you'll pay handsomely for the honor of providing an answer. Just kidding! I'm in retirement. All I care for now is love and a large pouch of beetlesnuff!
Despite all that Dominion bother and the war and all that nonsense, I've been very happy lately indeed. War is good for profit! The Gamma Quadrant will no doubt continue for years to provide me with endless amusement, although you'll excuse me if I never make the trip through the wormhole personally again. I couldn't stand to introduce another catastrophic revision of the Rules of Acquisition! Hee-hee-hee!
Now, if you'll excuse me, time is money!
(first appeared in "Family Business," third season)
Have my boys gotten in trouble again? I always said they didn't have the lobes for business, but definitely the gene for trouble! You can tell them I said that about both of them!
Life is settling back down for me. I guess I never really had much to do with that station of yours itself, except for Quark's little bar. For the life of me I'll never understand that operation of his, how he could have made so little profit after so many years squatting there. Did he ever tell you that his cousin Gaila once acquired a whole moon? That's something a mother could be proud of! I suppose I didn't make it easy for him, always bringing that up. It was the one thing we talked about other than my extreme disappointment in him and his extreme disappointment in me!
As Zekkie has no doubt already told you, though, I'm glad about the station, no matter how little I've gotten to enjoy it myself. I helped usher an entire revolution in Ferengi society there! Home is where the heart is, but dreams can be found in the stars. There's a Rule very close to that, but of course it has much more to do with profit. Let me tell you, as wonderful as latinum is, there are things that are more important.
Have you spoken with Liquidator Brunt? Of course you haven't. He hasn't paid his fine for public speaking yet. Can't speak a word until he has! And he's one who's always loved to hear himself talk, too! Although I can't imagine that he would have anything fond to say about your station.
I suppose we'll have to visit. Rom may leave eventually, but Quark never will. I just don't know what's wrong with that boy...
(first appeared in "Image in the Sand," seventh season)
I suppose being a Starfleet counselor should make me feel comfortable talking like this, but I hate talking about myself, and that seems to be what everyone wants from me!
And I wish I could say I've never been more uncomfortable in my life, but then, I've also got a family, and it's a huge mess! I don't want to talk about it!
But really, I can't say how much I've appreciated all the support I've received since I arrived, even if if it's also been a challenge. The real challenge was getting used to being joined, "meeting" all the previous hosts! You can't imagine what it's like, Jake. Even for a Trill, even for someone who's gone through the Initiate program, and heard all about the idea of it their whole life, it's incomprehensible. I felt in an instant like I'd known your father my whole life. Well, two lifetimes! Curzon remains so strong, and then there's Jadzia. I'm sure if any of the other hosts had known Benjamin, they'd be chiming in right now, too!
I'd never stepped foot onto the station before, but thanks to Jadzia the moment I did I felt as if it were already home. She had such warm memories. You can't even imagine!
Oh my god, am I droning on and on again? I guess I can't help it!
Anyway, Worf is dragging me to another Klingon opera in one of Quark's holosuites. Knowing my luck, Julian is going to be there, too. It's a nightmare!
But a good one!
(first appeared in The Next Generation, "Disaster," fifth season)
(first Deep Space Nine appearance, "A Man Alone," first season)
I'm glad you waited as long as you did to talk to me, Jake. Even when we moved to Earth at the end of the war, I was still just a little girl. I still remember thinking that Dad's Alamo model was a toy. Of course it wasn't. But that's when we were both on the younger side.
I was born when my parents were still living aboard the Enterprise. The Enterprise-D, if I remember correctly. I've since visited holographic recreations of it. The real thing was destroyed not so long after we left. I was a kid. I remember Mom and Dad fighting a lot in those early years. Mom never wanted to admit it, but she hated it. She hated all of it. I don't think she even liked the Enterprise. The older I get, the more I can't understand that. I bet you could, too, once you lived on Bajor for a while, then moved to Earth. I guess we had similar childhoods. When everything around you is either artificial or a plant that depends exclusively on you to survive, it can feel a little oppressive after a while, if it wasn't originally your idea to live like that. I'm glad my parents finally found their compromises, though. I think it started around the same time you decided to devote your life to writing. That was the beginning of the good times for everyone, I think, even if that was when the Dominion first poked its head into our space.
All the politics, the Bajorans and the Cardassians, even all the Federation business, never really affected me. Deep Space Nine was independent enough from most of it so that I could see the world on my own terms. Watching everything happen around me, even if I was too young to appreciate most of it, was almost like one adventure after another, and I was very glad that the people we had around us were there. They made everything so much easier. Even Worf, who was surprisingly good around Yoshi. Can I admit now that Worf scared me? But my brother loved him. Still wishes he was born a Klingon. But I guess that's something that comes around every generation.
You were always pretty cool to have around, even if you seemed to think you'd break us if left in our company. You were worse than Worf when he first held Yoshi! But the stories you used to tell us, the ones you wrote down, you have no idea, but I always treasured them. I guess I was your first fan.
Don't laugh! Some day you're going to be an old man and your biggest fan is going to track you down for a visit. It'll be the highlight of your life!