I swear to you friends, I have not fabricated a thing about the tale I'm about to unfold, unbelievable though most of it will be. They did warn you about time travel in school, though, so you'll have to at least keep that in mind. The only thing is, they never warned you about this...
Again, I must urge caution. This is not a dream, though in years to come you will no doubt tell your kids it was. I would rather believe that myself, and perhaps in time, I'll believe it exactly that way. For now, though, know that it's all real, it's all true.
You see, I traveled back to the 21st century. I know! They warned about that time period plenty of times, quite specifically! But like the ignorant snot I was, I never believed them. Couldn't be true. Exactly what I'm trying to tell you now. I found out the hard way.
Now, I don't know how many of you have ever taken a time trip, but one of the first things you'll learn when you do is that it will definitely play tricks on you. The you that you find at your destination won't exactly be the one you were when you left. I mean, specifically, that you'll seem younger. I was thirty years old when I left, but I found that, physically, I was a great deal younger on the other side. I was a boy of thirteen! Can you believe it? Those of you who have never done it, of course you won't. It sounds like nonsense!
But it was true all the same, and believe me, being thirteen in the 21st century was not exactly the ideal. I don't want to get into it too quickly, the grim details will come soon enough, so I don't want to outright shock you. There's no need. It's better this way, trust me.
But it was shock enough, just me finding myself that age again! I was well past it when I'd left, enough that it was a distant memory, but a more or less clear one all the same. I hadn't been eager to revisit it! But then, I didn't have much say in the matter. There I was, just emerged, and already struggling to adjust!
It would only get worse from there.