Hazel
was a cat, and for some reason the fur around her eyes had sort of been rubbed,
or perhaps scratched, away, and her personality was the classic shrinking
violet. Still, I was able to coax a
moment or two of her time. Mostly, she
spent it the way she spent all her time, expecting Smokie to appear at any
moment. Smokie was another cat, and in
another life they were part of the same human household, for a time. It was decided at some point that it was more
convenient to keep the one and lose the other.
Hazel was the other.
Her
life had been dominated by Smokie, though, and she never seemed to forget
that. We say that animals don’t have
memories, but I believe they have better memories than any human in
history. They remember only what’s
important, is all. It causes them the
same kind of pain that it does us, but probably worse. They have fewer distractions. It’s probably why they spend their lives
being distracted by what we might consider to be trivial things. It’s the only way to survive.
Hazel
was a sweetie, a darling, but it’s unlikely that she was appreciated for this
when she was still with Smokie, because Smokie stole all the attention, was
known to lick a face voraciously, which may be normal for some cats, but is
more usually considered unusual. That’s
the kind of cat Smokie was. Hazel was
much more like the cats I knew, a lot more like Boo, but I’ll get to her
shortly.
Because
of Hazel, because I knew her better, Smokie became another bogeyman, like
Barky, slightly less abstract, because he had a tether, one he didn’t deserve,
because he was doted on to the exact degree that Hazel deserved, but couldn’t
bring herself to accept, and in a weird way, it was all because of her devotion
to him. That’s what love can sometimes
do.
Truth
is, Hazel took some effort to find, which is probably exactly what she’d always
been like. She hid in one of the darkest
corners of the place, but I tell you she was worth the effort. Usually, but not always, when something takes
an effort, it’s worth it. Something that’s
easy can be easy to take for granted, and may not even be worth that.
What
I could never get over was that even in Smokie’s absence he dominated her, and
apart from the heartache she didn’t seem to mind. I think that made Hazel special. The way her eyes lit up just at the thought
of him, that didn’t need any considering of the missing fur. Nothing else mattered. They say cats can tell you a lot just from
their eyes. Hazel made it an
artform. She was the Cheshire cat of
eyes. She disappeared behind them, and
the only thing she was looking at wasn’t even there.
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