Tuesday, August 26, 2014

101 Star Wars Variations 47: Mace in Vader's Helmet

For years popular gossip around the galaxy centered on the identity of the man beneath the helmet of Darth Vader.  Everyone had their opinions, the likeliest candidates.  On Coruscant, there were plenty of people who were pretty confident they knew exactly who he was.  A couple of kids discuss it:

"My dad says it's pretty obvious," George says.

"Your dad's bantha fodder," Irving says.

"That may be, but he says it's definitely Mace Windu," George says.

"I have no idea who that is," Irving says.

"Back in the days of the Jedi, he was a pretty important one," George says.

"That means nothing to me," Irving says.

"It was well before your time," George says.  It may be important to note that they're both ten years old.

"Blah blah blah," Irving says.

"No, listen: Mace Windu is the Jedi who was sent to arrest Palpatine," George says.  "Back in those days, everyone knew that.  My dad was there.  He was one of the guards who was watching the chancellor's chambers."

"He probably died," Irving says.

"That's what everyone says," George says.  "Too obvious.  I think they framed it as an arrest, but really it was Mace Windu defecting to the enemy!"

"Question: weren't these Jedi of yours supposed to be the good guys?" Irving asks.

"Jedi defected left and right," George says.  "Sifo Dyas, Count Dooku.  Lots of bad apples."

"Why does he hide under the helmet then, Mr. Big Corellian?" Irving says.

"They had to make it look good," George says.  "It was really nasty, too.  Everyone knows Mace fell from the chambers' picture window and he was missing a hand.  No one knows what happened to the body.  I think it's obvious.  Palpatine sticks him in this outfit, he places on the helmet, and zam! we have Darth Vader."

"You're a real Gungan, you know that?"

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