My name is Jimmy Cooke, and
1980 was an especially bad year for me.
The Phillies won the World Series that year, but that’s pretty much the
only thing that went right. The second
Star Wars movie opened, but John Lennon was killed, so even by pop culture
standards, I had it rough. I began
tracing most of my problems to Jimmy Carter’s Proclamation 4771, a direct
result of the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan.
The Vietnam War was over; I didn’t want to fight, didn’t think I needed
to fight, and all of a sudden, because of the ridiculous Cold War and a country
that meant absolutely nothing to me, the so-called Selective Service System was
going to make me eligible for the draft?
It actually gets worse, a lot worse. President Carter signed Proclamation 4771 on
June 27th, but my bad year was already well underway. My father’s railroad had its last run on
March 31st, and I lost the title of International Master to
snot-nosed fourteen-year-old Nigel Short.
But I’ll get back to that last one.
I turned twenty in 1980, still didn’t have
a clear about what I was going to do with the rest of my life, and was hitting
the books in a college library when I heard the news about Proclamation
4771. It was my buddy Harold who told
me, Harold who still sported acne all across his face and barely looked old
enough to attend senior prom, much less working on his senior thesis, which
only Harold was bold enough to center on the particular merits of the first
Star Trek film. You might be able to
work out that Harold himself was too old to worry about the draft himself, but
immature enough to throw a white handkerchief in my face when he told me. “Be prepared to use it,” he whispered
helpfully. Naturally I wanted to slug
him, but considered it bad form to do such a thing in a library. Harold knew all about my misfortunes that
year. He was a good enough friend that
he could get away with not caring.
As I suggested earlier, I was never one
for fighting. Bullying, that was
certainly something I had gotten used to, on the receiving end anyway. It was only in college I finally escaped from
that particularly odious behavior from classmates, and only because I mostly
avoided everyone else, except for Harold, of course. I was one of those “lover, not a fighter”
types, except I wasn’t so good with the ladies, either. I didn’t know about Proclamation 4771 in
January, but I might as well have, because on the 24th of that
month, I received the first bit of bad news of 1980: The Rock was ordered
liquidated due to bankruptcy.
The Rock, otherwise known as the Rock
Island Line, or more formally the Chicago, Rock Island and Pacific Railroad,
was chartered in 1851, an extension of the Rock Island and La Salle Railroad
Company, founded in 1847. Abraham
Lincoln actually defended the company against a lawsuit in 1857, some nine
years before the company as posterity would know it finally came into
being. The Rock’s territory covered
Arkansas, Colorado, Illinois, Iowa, Kansas, Missouri, Nebraska, New Mexico,
Oklahoma, South Dakota, and Texas, plus a few other points across the
continental United States. As the years
advanced and transportation continued to modernize, the Rock struggled to keep
up, though my father would always talk fondly of the Golden State, one
of the finest first-class trains to ever travel on tracks. By the time I was old enough to remember, I
memorized the famed Chicago-to-Rock Island line, and somehow mastered the game
of chess riding it.
I had two great loves, thanks to my
father, the Rock was one of them, and chess was the other. I couldn’t have had a better mentor for
either one. My father had served in
Vietnam, and he always joked he took up the same two passions because they were
the only things that helped him sleep at night, and I guess that was how, in
time, I was able to play a game with such calm while in constant motion. I’d watch the landscape pass by and calculate
my next move without ever missing a beat.
My father said I found my rhythm on the rails.
By the time I was supposed to be
developing into my own man, the world seemed to do its best to disrupt this
personal sense of harmony. I never
actually played against Nigel Short, but I couldn’t escape the looming presence
of that little bastard, either. Every
tournament I entered, nobody could talk about anything but the brilliant Nigel
Short, the prodigy, the child game-master.
I never heard a word about him from my father, but that might have been
because he had slowly slipped into the life of an alcoholic. Perhaps I hadn’t noticed the transition for
the same reason I stopped paying attention to him when I realized I could beat
him, and that I wanted more out of my life than a measly living off a failing
railroad. I never even realized when I’d
stopped loving the Rock, or how easy it was to take that last ride, to college,
and leave my past behind, including my father.
When Harold told me about Proclamation
4771, I didn’t even think about my father’s Vietnam experience. How could I?
I was terrified that I’d be sent to war myself.
But I kept playing chess, no matter how
many opponents spent more time in awe of Nigel Short, with most of my victories
coming against these star-struck warriors babbling on and on about Nigel’s
latest conquest. How could I possibly
prove myself if I couldn’t play a decent game myself? My father had told me all about International
Master. Even when Harold told me about
Proclamation 4771 and I still wondered what my major should be, I believed that
was my destiny, even though by then, Nigel Short had made it meaningless. How would there be any glory left over for
poor Jimmy Cooke, now that Nigel Short had made it look so easy?
I almost quit playing chess in January,
and then, just a few short weeks later, I learned the fate of the Rock. I couldn’t believe it. My first thought wasn’t even of my father,
but of taking one last ride, but I was busy in my studies. How could I possibly pull it off? Then Harold appeared one day and told me
about a trip he needed to take to Denver, and everything seemed to fall into
place. If only I’d known. I should say now that I hate snow, that I now
live quite comfortably in a climate where snow is, if not impossible,
incredibly unlikely, even in the heart of winter. Harold wanted to visit family, and even with
that prompting I was insensible. I hadn’t
spoken with my father in months. I didn’t
even know he now lived in Colorado.
When we boarded the Rock on the 29th
of March, I was still buried hip-deep in books, figuring that I could allay
whatever deficit I might experience in my studies from taking this trip by
taking my studies with me. I may not
have known what my future had in store for me, but I was determined to be
prepared. If only I’d known. The snows began almost immediately. At first, naturally, I didn’t notice. Harold kept making comments, but I was used
to ignoring him. I was busy, distracted,
and yes, insensible. It was almost like
basic training, and I was headed into a war zone, Proclamation 4771 dangling
just in front of me. But the snows
continued, and the more it snowed, the more I realized what was happening. It was snowing the first day, and I finally
noticed on the second. By the third I
was inconsolable. It finally hit me,
that I was traveling the Rock for the final time ever. I reached into my bag and pulled out a chess
set, and prepared to play for the first time since learning of Nigel Short’s
making International Master. Harold was
terrible, but I didn’t care. I almost
let him win.
Somehow we made it to Denver. I’ll never be able to explain how, but I
suspect Harold must have told him. My
father was waiting for us. He had an
inscrutable expression on his face, as if he were looking backward to all the
days in his past, perhaps even a younger version of me, and all I could do was
return it with a stupid grin on mine. “Good
to see you, kiddo,” he said at last. I
never saw him again.
We barely spoke. I didn’t have anything to say, and neither
did he. We spent most of our time with
Harold and his family, and all they were interested in was talking about the
murder of Angelo Bruno, which had occurred earlier that month. They were big into mob stories; my father and
I still shared our apathy about that. We’d
heard plenty of tales in Chicago. We
knew about the great ones. We made the
trip back to college in a car Harold’s uncle had just given him, possibly the
reason we’d gone to Denver in the first place.
My chess set remained in my bag this time, and I never even thought
about it. A few months later, Harold
tells me about Proclamation 4771, and what I’ve really got on my mind is the
news I’d recently received myself, that my father had died of a heart attack.
Of course, the United States didn’t become
involved in the Afghan War, at least not directly, in 1980. We were all still naïve enough to believe it
didn’t concern us. I wasn’t drafted, and
never served a day in the armed forces.
I never played chess again, either, and after Harold graduated, lost
contact with him. I’d lost the title of
International Master to Nigel Short, lost the Rock, and lost my father, and
didn’t realize just how much my world had changed until years later, when I
stopped to consider just how important that year had been. Carter lost the presidency to Ronald Reagan
in November, by the way, and I wasn’t sorry to see him go. The United States hockey team defeated the
Soviets at the Olympics, the “Miracle on Ice,” but I never knew any kind of
divine intervention in 1980. I kept
fearing that my world was going to come to an end, first because of little
things, then because of bigger things, and eventually everything started to
blend together. I didn’t want to lose my
life in some foreign land, fighting for a cause I didn’t believe in. Well, as it turned out, I lost it on a train
ride to Denver, lost it after years of putting my father behind me, during my
last opportunity to ever reconnect with him, to acknowledge and thank him for
everything he’d done for me. Eventually
I moved on, figured out what I was studying, graduated, got a job, lost it to
another liquidation, and now here I am today, once again trying to put the
pieces of my shattered life together again.
I sure miss you, Dad.
I like this. And not just because it has a character named Nigel.
ReplyDeleteMost of the stories I posted in January was material I'd written for various writing activities, just clearing the archives. I'm glad this one found an audience.
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