Star Trek '12: 2112 AD - Kal Dano

Risa is the greatest planet in the galaxy!

Ahem.  If that is not sober enough a statement for you, let me clarify: it’s the only planet where any alien species can find something that pleases it, provided that they find leisure activities pleasing.  There were some efforts early on in its existence to provide interests outside of leisure pursuits, but there were too many complications, and thus the concept was abandoned.

Unfortunately, Kal Dano did not get the memo.  He believed that it was still a fine destination for things like ultimate weapons, which is the only way the Tox Uthat can be classified.  It is indeed an ultimate weapon, a doomsday device so incredible in its destructive ability that Dano was forced to find a new home for it, since its original one proved, as Risa had for things other than leisure activities, completely unfit.  Or perhaps Dano was simply a thief looking to stash his goods away for a moment.  Perhaps we may know for certain in time.

Which one of our attendants came across Mr. Dano first is still a matter of dispute, but there was a great amount of excitement.  He announced himself to be a time traveler, which is not unheard of on Risa, but we tend to regulate our guests so that they do not bring things like ultimate weapons along with them.  At any rate, it was explained to him several times that possessing such a thing was inappropriate, and that he would have to dispose of it.  Naturally he was not accommodating to our suggestion, and soon gave a wild chase to many members of the staff.  Later versions of this will no doubt allow anyone who may learn of it to assume that he simply appeared, dropped off the Tox Uthat, and departed again, but rest assured that while we are by definition lax in most standards, we take security quite seriously, as it’s our basic responsibility to our guests, and we have quite a few gadgets left over from our aborted experiment to be able to provide all levels of security for them.  Less responsible hosts might consider a business partnership with the Orion Syndicate, but that’s not the policy or the interest of the governing council on Risa.

But yeah, we could do quite a few interesting things if we liked.  We would have confiscated the Tox Uthat if we’d wanted.  It was entirely within our rights, and we’d hardly want unsuspecting guests to stumble onto something like that.  It would certainly ruin someone’s vacation!  As it is, our agents eventually caught up to Mr. Dano and we came to a mutual agreement.  While we no longer condone the presence of such things as a matter of course, we are not unreasonable.  We wouldn’t be very good at our jobs if we were!  Instead, we made sure that only those truly committed to it might discover the Tox Uthat, something Dano himself seemed perfectly satisfied with, as he himself had the ability to monitor it to a greater degree than we could, being privy to the historical records as he is, from whichever century he’s from and happens to linger.  It was suggested by our chief of tranquility that he might be an agent of the Temporal Cold War, but most of us dismissed the notion.  But you never know.

Actually, I don’t know why I’m going on about all this.  Some of us are far more excited at the prospect of humans finally reaching our humble planet.  They’re been traveling the galaxy for a good number of years now, but they’re incredibly limited in their propulsion systems at the moment, though rumor has it they’re close to a breakthrough, as long as the Vulcans leave them alone long enough, or maybe if the Klingons finally pay them a visit, if they’re worth it.  I have a wager going that the term “Starfleet” won’t amount to much, but then, someone said Kal Dano mentioned it, so what do I know?

Anyway, I’m sure none of this interests you.  Care for a horga’hn?