Friday, January 28, 2011

A Conspiracy of Dead Men

When a celebrity dies unexpectedly, it's usually a sign that they've been drafted into the conspiracy. Sorry, the Conspiracy. Very few people know anything about this conspiracy, because it's the ultimate fraternity. You have to be a "dead" celebrity. The only reason why the Conspiracy is known at all is because of all the random sightings of celebrities who are supposed to be dead, Elvis being probably the most famous example.

Part of why I'm telling you any of this is because it was recently confirmed that John Lennon was indeed a part of the Conspiracy. One would assume, as with anyone who dies unexpectedly, that having left a fair bit of family behind, it would have been a pretty asshole move for Lennon to bail on his very young sons, but I don't pretend to know the exact reasons why a celebrity would agree to join the Conspiracy, only that it exists. What this organization does with these celebrities is anyone's guess.

But as I said, it was recently confirmed that Lennon was indeed a part of it, thanks to a sighting in Grand Rapids, MI, of all places. There had been a Beatles tribute concert in town the previous weekend, and many who attended were convinced of the considerable authenticity of the singer who portrayed John. Given the reports, it's not unlikely that Lennon actually played himself. If it were indeed true, it would be a remarkable development for him. What he was doing lingering about in town after the concert is also anyone's guess.

There is further speculation that he was there to spend some time with Buddy Holly, perhaps one of the most notorious and successful members of the Conspiracy, which also includes, among others, Andy Kaufman, JFK, and if fresh rumors are to be believed, Michael Jackson. Holly, who would have to be among the senior living members of the Conspiracy, may also be a founding father, and an early idol of Lennon, perhaps the very reason why the former Beatle decided to join in the first place.

The corroborated reports of Lennon's activities, which of course are denied by officials at every level of the Grand Rapids civic authorities, suggest that he skipped town shortly after having coffee at Starbucks with an elderly gentleman, who is now believed to be Holly. It's likely that all such meetings of the Conspiracy are conducted in this fashion.

Recent speculation has it that the Conspiracy simply wishes to observe the continuing impact of its members, if not out of vanity, then out of curiosity. One of the members most likely to have enjoyed what he's seen since joining must surely be Tupak Shakur, whose legacy has only expanded since his "death."

As always, I will keep you informed...

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