Crisis Weekly #1

PAGE ONE

Panel 1 (splash)

We’re peering over the shoulder of the Caballero, one of the main villains of Crisis Weekly.  He’s the Mexican president, so he’s in his executive office, alone.  He wears a traditional luchador mask, nose covered (unlike the mistake the recent twelve-issue Bane miniseries made), with a bat motif.  Otherwise he’s dressed formally.  There’s going to be a big surprise about the Caballero’s identity at the end of the series, but for now he’s a mystery.  Anyway, he’s watching a video on his phone (because that’s what we do these days), only it’s not just any video, but the classic moment, captured via surveillance footage (which is to say it’s in black and white), of Bruce Wayne deciding his destiny. 

BRUCE WAYNE: I shall become a bat!

Credits

TITLE: “The Boys Are Back In Town”

WRITER: Tony Laplume

 

PAGE TWO

Panel 1

Every panel on this page is going to be more or less the same: bats flying, with captions.  The bats may be either individually drawn for each panel or included in one large image split into a nine-panel grid, for the purposes of the captions (which is probably preferable).

CAPTION: I’m no hero.

Panel 2

Bats flying.

CAPTION: My name is Guy Gardner, and I was a Green Lantern.

Panel 3

Bats flying.

CAPTION: And a warrior.

Panel 4

Bats flying.

CAPTION: Now I’m literally yesterday’s news.

Panel 5

Bats flying.

CAPTION: And today’s.

Panel 6

Bats flying.

CAPTION: And tomorrow’s.

Panel 7

Bats flying.

CAPTION: So I guess you can add “Public Enemy Number One” to my list of monikers. 

Panel 8

Bats flying.

CAPTION: I was always known as kind of a screw-up.

Panel 9

Bats flying.

CAPTION: Made that official.  Wanna make something of it?

 

PAGE THREE

Panel 1

The first of another nine panel grid of similar images, this time of Jack Ryder, the erstwhile Creeper, in a Youtube series similar to Eddie Brock’s guerilla journalism in the recent Venom movie.  Jack doesn’t have a cameraman, though.  He’s capturing his show via selfie stick, so every image is going to feature him from an angle rather than straight on.  Whether or not you include a border around each panel with a Youtube-type logo (if you do, it’ll be called “Newtube”) is up to you.

JACK RYDER: I’m Jack Ryder with another edition of Ryder’s Row!

Panel 2

Jack’s selfie show continues.

JACK RYDER: Today we’re going to be talking about, like we always do on Ryder’s Row, what nobody else is talking about.

Panel 3

Jack’s selfie show continues.

JACK RYDER: Forget about Guy Gardner.  Everyone’s talking about Guy Gardner.

Panel 4

Jack’s selfie show continues.

JACK RYDER: No, I want to talk about something interesting!

Panel 5

Jack’s selfie show continues.

JACK RYDER: So, the White Martians are back.

Panel 6

Jack’s selfie show continues.

JACK RYDER: Yeah, the dirty little secret we all want to pretend never happened in the first place, is happening all over again.

Panel 7

Jack’s selfie show continues.

JACK RYDER: The word I got was that the Hyperclan was put down execution-style, but the rest of them are running rampant, believe me, and it’s going to be so much worse this time.

Panel 8

Jack’s selfie show continues.  In this panel Jack’s ambushing Guy Gardner!  Guy’s shoving his hand into the phone, and he’s wearing civvies (probably an update of his classic blue jeans ensemble from the days he was first slinging a yellow power ring; this is not going to be the only callback to that era in Crisis Weekly).  In fact, he’s wearing a yellow ring again, but this only needs to be glimpsed, just at the tip of the panel as the hand is pushing the phone away.  In case you were wondering, this scene is probably unrelated to his monologue on the previous page.

JACK RYDER: But here’s Guy Gardner, too!  Guy!  Care to comment on singlehandedly ruining the public’s trust in the Green Lanterns?  And probably superheroes in general?

GUY GARDNER: No comment!

Panel 9

Jack’s selfie show concludes.

JACK RYDER: Well, there you have it, another edition of Ryder’s Row.  Row, me bully boys!

 

PAGE FOUR

Page 1

This panel is ripped almost straight from the classic JLA moment from “New World Order” (the start of the Grant Morrison era) in which Howard Porter snuck in Marvel characters tied to stakes being executed by the Hyperclan.  Except this time it’s the Hyperclan being executed somewhat anonymously and in ignominy, without any chance to be in the spotlight otherwise.  Their executioners are, in fact, the Bully Boys, who are secretly working for the Creeper.  Jack Ryder’s specific awareness of these events will be explored later, as will the Bully Boys themselves, but for now they, too, will be getting a fairly anonymous moment and introduction.  They’re going to look roughly like Canadian singer Alan Doyle and actors Scott Grimes and Kevin Durand, all three of whom played Merry Men in the 2010 Robin Hood movie (the one with Russell Crowe).  The Bully Boys get their name from a song Doyle wrote for the movie, and are the first of several new creations to appear in Crisis Weekly.  Anyway, the Hyperclan is dying by fire, because of course they’re Martians, White or otherwise.

CAPTION: Previously.

Panel 2

We pan inward toward the flames, just over the head of Protex, the leader of the Hyperclan.

CAPTION: This is the way the world ends, by the way.

Panel 3

Protex’s head is no longer visible.  Now it’s just the flames.

CAPTION: Through fire.

Panel 4

Panning outward again and now we’re at another fire, this one destroying an apartment building in Suicide Slum, a neighborhood in Metropolis familiar to Superman fans.  Guy Gardner, still a Green Lantern, is on-scene mounting rescue efforts.  He’s got a black man in a green bubble as he flies through the air.

CAPTION: It all began with me doing what I always do.  And before you get smart, I mean doing the work of good guys.  Standard superhero stuff.

 

PAGE FIVE

Panel 1

Guy lands himself and the black man back down on the pavement.

CAPTION: But don’t take my word for it.  Daily Planet reporter Clark Kent wrote about it.  He had my back.

Panel 2

Guy and the black man look behind them, startled, as the building they just vacated suddenly collapses.  The captions will now be quoting Kent’s article, and so will be reproduced in newsprint lettering.

CAPTION: “Green Lantern Gardner had succeeded in a partial evacuation of the premises before the collapse.  Survivors, however, immediately began to blame him for the deaths of those still trapped inside.”

Panel 3

Guy finds himself surrounded by angry citizens.

CAPTION: “The Green Lantern, long known for his crass remarks, made matters worse when provoked to defend himself.  Observers claim he said the victims should’ve known they were, quote, living in a rattrap.”

Panel 4

Guy flies off, leaving the angry citizens behind.

CAPTION: “In this reporter’s opinion, the subsequent controversy has only made things worse.  Gardner’s reputation is well-established.  While this doesn’t excuse his remarks, it at least provides some much-needed context.  Gardner is otherwise a familiar fixture of the superhero community and has helped save the world dozens of times over.”

 

PAGE SIX

Panel 1

Guy is sitting in the Ace ‘O’ Clubs, Bibbo’s bar, having a drink.  He’s still wearing the blue jeans ensemble we saw him in Jack Ryder’s web show.  Bibbo is in the background polishing a mug.  Pointedly, he doesn’t seem agitated to have Guy in his establishment.  Bibbo is well-known as a big fan of Superman, and superheroes in general.  The captions are back to normal.

CAPTION: You get the idea.

Panel 2

Guy signals for another drink.

CAPTION: Superman didn’t make things any easier, by the way.  You know what?  I’m gonna shift the blame.  It’s all his fault.  If he hadda kept his trap shut, things woulda never gotten so wildly outta control.

Panel 3

Bibbo pours Guy the next drink.

CAPTION: The stupid idiot defended me.  On the record.

Panel 4

Bibbo’s handing Guy the next drink.

BIBBO: Fer what it’s worth, you an’ Supes are welcome here whenever you want.  Don’t matter what everyone’s sayin’.

GUY GARDNER: Who asked you, anyway?

Panel 5

Bibbo’s walking away, ignoring Guy’s latest crude remark.  He’s used to drunks.  Guy’s already helping himself to his new mug.

CAPTION: So now the public’s sour on alla us.  Just like that.

Panel 6

Guy’s expression has fallen.

CAPTION: Way to save the day, big guy.

 

PAGE SEVEN

Panel 1

Guy stumbling out of the Ace ‘O’ Clubs.

CAPTION: And my fellow Green Lanterns?  Piled right on.  Said it was in everyone’s best interests if I “volunteered to lay low.”  Made it real easy by revoking my ring.  Kicked to the curb.

Panel 2

Guy walks past a black man in a trenchcoat, wearing a fedora.  This is Bloodwynd, another callback to ‘90s lore.  We’ll meet back up with him later in Crisis Weekly.  With the fedora on, and because he keeps to himself, nobody else would probably notice, but we do: we don’t see his pupils.  They’re totally white, just like they were when he was a superhero with that white costume and black cape.

CAPTION: White Martians are covering their tracks.  Know it was them.  Started the fire.  Killing some other guys who knew.  Can’t prove it.  No one will listen.

Panel 3

Guy continues to walk.

Panel 4

Guy continues to walk.

CAPTION: Had too much to drink.

Panel 5

Guy continues to walk.

Panel 6

Guy collapses.

CAPTION: This won’t help.

 

PAGE EIGHT

Panel 1
Guy’s slumped in a recliner watching Ryder’s Row on a tablet.  He’s shouting angrily at it.

GUY GARDNER: Oh, yeah!  Jack Ryder!  Everyone knows you’re the Creeper, you moron!

Panel 2

Now we’re closer up on the tablet, so we’re paying attention to the show.  With Jack is an alien who looks much like Abin Sur, the Green Lantern who died and bequeathed his ring to Hal Jordan.  (For the record, that makes him an Ungaran.)  He’s clad in a brilliant white costume that’s distinguishable from a White Lantern’s.  He doesn’t wear a mask.  He’s got white sparring mitts on both hands.  The emblem on his chest is an intricate box.  Boxers have light boxes like Green Lanterns have, well, lanterns.

JACK RYDER: …on the scene with Barsoom, who’s calling himself an emissary from the Boxers.  Look out, Green Lanterns!  There’s a new alien law enforcement group in town!

Panel 3

Pull back a little so that we’re looking over Guy’s shoulder as he continues to shout at the tablet.

GUY GARDNER: White Lantern!  White Lantern!  White Lantern!

Panel 4

Guy flings the tablet away from him.

Panel 5

Guy looks in the direction of the tablet.

Panel 6

Guy is looking slightly abashed.

GUY GARDNER: Hmm.  Probably shouldn’t have done that.  Also, probably need a job now.