No one knew more about the Jedi than Leia. She was a regular fangirl. No one had seen them in twenty years, not since the Purge, the infamous Order 66 and the rise of Darth Vader. But Leia grew up with the whole history of the Jedi Order. She wouldn't go to bed until her father had told her more.
One day, her father told her a new story. It involved Darth Vader, the days of the Purge. When Leia's birth mother was still alive. The Naboo queen, Amidala. The wife of Darth Vader. Her father told her Vader's other name, Anakin Skywalker, how he had once been a hero of the Old Republic, and one of the greatest warriors during the Clone Wars. And that's when her father told her something else.
Somehow, she'd always known. She looked nothing like the Organas, either side. She'd never been told outright, but she knew in her gut that she hadn't been born on Alderaan, didn't have a trace of its DNA in her. Vader was her father.
At first, she didn't believe it. How could she? It was abhorrent just to consider, let alone accept as fact. But the more she lived with it, the more it began to explain things.
On Alderaan, it had always been easy to hero worship the extinct Jedi. It was the only planet in the galaxy that kept the Order alive, even if there were no actual Jedi to serve it. Alderaan had elders, who had told Leia's father the stories he later told her. There were craftsmen who forged lightsabers, the ancient, elegant weapon of the Jedi. Leia trained in the use of these blades. And she had always gotten the highest marks from among all her tutor's students.
There was a reason after all. Maybe she always knew.
When she began taking secret missions for the Rebellion, Leia put these thoughts behind her, until she became the captive of Governor Tarkin...and Vader. Being in the presence of Vader awakened even more of Leia's awareness of what the Jedi called the Force. They didn't speak of their familial bond at all. She didn't even think he knew. But she did.
After the pirate rescued her, along with the farmboy, her brother, the one who brought Obi-Wan Kenodi into Leia's life, she began to explore her potential. She had heard many stories about Kenobi, both as her father's compatriot and his career as a Jedi. Like everyone else, she'd assumed he was dead. The old man on Tatooine, she guessed, was a distant relation. She hoped, though, that it was the Jedi himself. She dared herself to believe it. That was why she slipped the plans for the Death Star into the memory circuits of the droid, when her ship was captured in orbit of Tatooine. Somehow she knew it would find its way to Kenobi.
Jedi intuition, perhaps.
Kenodi died in her escape from the Death Star. She was devastated. She never even got a chance to see him. The farmboy, her brother, though, had lived in proximity to Kenobi for years. Had no idea who he was all that time, but had called him friend. Kenobi gave the farmboy Anakin Skywalker's lightsaber. But the farmboy was careless. He lost track of it on the Death Star. Leia quickly, quietly, retrieved it.
And she began training more earnestly than ever before. Alderaan itself was now gone, destroyed in a callous demonstration of the Death Star's potential. She had no one else left to help her. Even Kenobi was dead. But she persisted. She kept the farmboy around. Kenobi had understood that her brother was a dreamer. But he was unfocused, undisciplined. Leia had no such limitations.
One day, the pirate told her he loved her. She thought it was a joke. It was in the middle of the evacuation from Hoth. The Empire was in hot pursuit. They hid in Cloud City. Vader came to them. But he was cornered, isolated. Trapped. And Leia saw her moment. She finally took her lightsaber, Vader's own lightsaber, from a lifetime ago, and engaged him in combat.
It was spectacular. He never saw it coming. His instincts had dulled over the years. He kept babbling about the farmboy. The Emperor, who was Vader's Sith mentor, had foreseen the threat to come from the son. Neither ever even considered the daughter. Leia.
It was spectacular. She couldn't believe how well she conducted herself, against the feared right hand of the Emperor. One of the worst scourges the galaxy had ever known. Whatever he attempted, she was two steps ahead of him. She was too fast, too mobile. She danced all over him. He died, whispering her name, gasping it. He asked only that she forgive him. Avenge him. Seek out the Emperor.
And so that was what she did.
The pirate, whom she'd never really understood, supported her the whole time. He didn't understand the Force at all, which was probably why he was so valuable. Then she realized she loved, him, too. It was this love that gave her the courage to complete her mission, confront the Emperor, right in his home on Coruscant, in the ruins of the old Jedi Temple. The arrogance of that man. By then he knew who Leia was. He should have seen it coming. But he remained convinced that the farmboy was the true threat, the one who would replace Vader.
So Leia had an even easier time defeating him than she'd had against her own father. She'd been preparing for it her whole life. And now, she prepared for the future. And she was ready for that, too. No one knew the Jedi like she did. And no one knew better than her the extreme cost of the old ways. And how to set them right.
To bring balance to the Force.
Tuesday, April 8, 2014
Monday, April 7, 2014
101 Star Wars Variations 5: Leia Sells Out the Rebellion
It is a moment that lives in infamy. The day Leia Organa sold out the Rebellion. The day it all ended. The day the Empire won.
History has proven a harsh judge of the Alderaan princess. Yet perhaps there is more to understand of those events than scholars usually afford her. One must remember that she was a prisoner of the cruel Grand Moff Tarkin, second only to Emperor Palpatine at that time, one of the most tyrannical governors in the history of the galaxy. The man responsible for the Death Star, remember. The Death Star, that was used to destroy Alderaan, as Leia watched helplessly.
Really, what else was she supposed to do?
One must also keep in mind that the only figure capable of measuring up to the standards of Palpatine and Tarkin was Darth Vader, the Dark Lord of the Sith. Who just so happened to be Leia's father. Imagine the psychological torture she endured. One can only imagine.
Perhaps he pulled her aside. Perhaps he did it in front of everyone else, the common Stormtroopers, Imperial officers, Tarkin, all of them. Leia knew she was adopted, of course. She knew very little about her childhood, was so insulated and isolated that to call her a spoiled brat is actually a term of endearment in Leia's case. It gave her the resolve she needed. Until the day she learned the truth, from her own father, who wasn't just Vader after all, but Anakin Skywalker, Leia's biological father. The man responsible for the death of her mother, Queen Amidala of Naboo.
Imagine. And did he do it before or after the destruction of Alderaan? We've all seen the historical holograms, Leia working in the years and decades after the Fall, reluctantly, beside Vader and Tarkin, who succeeded Palpatine as Emperor. She never smiled again, that much everyone agrees on. Some called her cruel, the echo of Tarkin, uncaring. That's what most people say, actually.
But do you really blame her? She watched her adopted world be blown up, a mere demonstration of the Death Star's capabilities. After the loss of so many other worlds, one would imagine others might begin to sympathize with her. But she became easy to blame. If she had only kept her resolve. Who are we to judge? The worst torture imaginable has nothing to do with the body, but rather the mind. Knowing you will have to live with yourself, knowing what you've done. Knowing your father is a monster. Knowing you've become just like him.
In a way, I consider Leia to be a hero. Someone who endured, far more than anyone else. The Rebellion was crushed in an instant, once she told Tarkin where to find it. Obliterated in an instant. Far more mercy than she ever got. She was the one who had to watch. She was the one forced to participate. She was the one who had to mourn. A thousand times over.
History has proven a harsh judge of the Alderaan princess. Yet perhaps there is more to understand of those events than scholars usually afford her. One must remember that she was a prisoner of the cruel Grand Moff Tarkin, second only to Emperor Palpatine at that time, one of the most tyrannical governors in the history of the galaxy. The man responsible for the Death Star, remember. The Death Star, that was used to destroy Alderaan, as Leia watched helplessly.
Really, what else was she supposed to do?
One must also keep in mind that the only figure capable of measuring up to the standards of Palpatine and Tarkin was Darth Vader, the Dark Lord of the Sith. Who just so happened to be Leia's father. Imagine the psychological torture she endured. One can only imagine.
Perhaps he pulled her aside. Perhaps he did it in front of everyone else, the common Stormtroopers, Imperial officers, Tarkin, all of them. Leia knew she was adopted, of course. She knew very little about her childhood, was so insulated and isolated that to call her a spoiled brat is actually a term of endearment in Leia's case. It gave her the resolve she needed. Until the day she learned the truth, from her own father, who wasn't just Vader after all, but Anakin Skywalker, Leia's biological father. The man responsible for the death of her mother, Queen Amidala of Naboo.
Imagine. And did he do it before or after the destruction of Alderaan? We've all seen the historical holograms, Leia working in the years and decades after the Fall, reluctantly, beside Vader and Tarkin, who succeeded Palpatine as Emperor. She never smiled again, that much everyone agrees on. Some called her cruel, the echo of Tarkin, uncaring. That's what most people say, actually.
But do you really blame her? She watched her adopted world be blown up, a mere demonstration of the Death Star's capabilities. After the loss of so many other worlds, one would imagine others might begin to sympathize with her. But she became easy to blame. If she had only kept her resolve. Who are we to judge? The worst torture imaginable has nothing to do with the body, but rather the mind. Knowing you will have to live with yourself, knowing what you've done. Knowing your father is a monster. Knowing you've become just like him.
In a way, I consider Leia to be a hero. Someone who endured, far more than anyone else. The Rebellion was crushed in an instant, once she told Tarkin where to find it. Obliterated in an instant. Far more mercy than she ever got. She was the one who had to watch. She was the one forced to participate. She was the one who had to mourn. A thousand times over.
Friday, March 14, 2014
101 Star Wars Variations 4: Biggs Was the Hero
Biggs Darklighter grew up on Tatooine. He dreamed as a boy about going out into the stars. Every night his mother told him stories about the Empire, the great service of galactic order carried out every day by its grand officers aboard great starships, so large nothing in Mos Eisley could ever contend with them.
Biggs used to travel with his family to Mos Eisley once a season. There were carnivals, podraces, sandsculpting contests, you name it. His father always told him, Watch yourself here, son. His father was a fearful man, who lived an honest enough life, but in the unshakable service of the Hutts. Biggs hated the Hutts. Young as he was, he could remember a time before they controlled everything. As far as the rest of the galaxy was concerned, Tatooine had always been Hutt territory, but that wasn't really the case. His father talked about earlier times, and his mother was the last remnant of a royal dynasty. Or at least, he used to pretend. One day he was sneaking around in their closet and saw a uniform. He didn't have a chance to look closely enough, so he didn't know who it had belonged to, but that was the moment the dream began for him.
Biggs grew up. He lived near one of the moisture farms, was best friends with a boy named Luke Skywalker, who'd never known his parents, who always seemed out of place on Tatooine, whose aunt and uncle told him not to dream. But Luke dreamed every day, thanks to Biggs. It was their secret pact. Biggs told his friend about the secret uniform. They pledged that one day they would serve in a uniform somewhere together.
The only uniforms they knew belonged to the officers of the fleet in the Empire. On Tatooine the Empire meant nothing. All Biggs cared was that the Empire had no connection to the Hutts. He imagined that those officers were the only force in the galaxy that opposed further Hutt tyranny.
When he grew of age, Biggs submitted his application to the training academy immediately. He'd told Luke they'd enter together, but Luke's uncle had forbidden even the thought so many times they both suspected it would never happen. Biggs couldn't afford for his own dream to be denied. Mos Eisley grew more dangerous as the years progressed. He hadn't been there in ages. His kind was no longer welcome. Where else was he to go but somewhere far away from Tatooine? And how else was he going to go but as a cadet in the Imperial fleet?
He said goodbye to Luke. He said goodbye to his parents, but that was only in words. He'd left them behind long ago. He wanted so much more than his father's abject fate.
With his fellow recruits, Biggs quickly learned much more about the Empire. He found out how other worlds viewed it, and how it viewed the galaxy. He studied its history, which was shorter than he'd thought. One day, he discovered that he'd made a terrible mistake, and so he ran away. He didn't know where to go, so he went back home. And he went to Mos Eisley.
There, he met some new friends, malcontents. This was how he first learned of the Rebellion. Eventually, he volunteered to join a new fleet, to be one of its first officers. He'd received enough training from the Empire that his rank was quickly elevated to considerable importance among his new allies. But Biggs remained humble. When it came time to fly the new fleet's considerably smaller ships, he said he'd be willing to pilot one himself. They were similar to what he'd known on Tatooine, after all.
When he learned that Luke had joined the cause, Biggs was ecstatic. Finally they were reunited! They would fly and fight and dream together once again!
When the assault on the Empire's dreaded Death Star occurred, Biggs allowed Luke to take point in their team. His ship took a hit in the attack, and he thought he was a goner. But when his ship crashed, Biggs somehow survived. He'd jettisoned in time. He always had good instincts.
He made his way into the bowels of the massive starbase. All of these Imperial forces were concentrated on the Rebel ships. None of them had considered the possibility of infiltration, just as the Rebel plan itself hadn't. And yet, there Biggs was.
He made his way to the power core. He had an explosive with him. He was totally alone. He had no idea what was going on around him. And no one was paying the slightest attention to him.
Biggs destroyed the Death Star.
(Writer's note: Although not directly inspired by it, readers who enjoy this story would do well to read Dark Horse's excellent Darklighter graphic novel.)
Biggs used to travel with his family to Mos Eisley once a season. There were carnivals, podraces, sandsculpting contests, you name it. His father always told him, Watch yourself here, son. His father was a fearful man, who lived an honest enough life, but in the unshakable service of the Hutts. Biggs hated the Hutts. Young as he was, he could remember a time before they controlled everything. As far as the rest of the galaxy was concerned, Tatooine had always been Hutt territory, but that wasn't really the case. His father talked about earlier times, and his mother was the last remnant of a royal dynasty. Or at least, he used to pretend. One day he was sneaking around in their closet and saw a uniform. He didn't have a chance to look closely enough, so he didn't know who it had belonged to, but that was the moment the dream began for him.
Biggs grew up. He lived near one of the moisture farms, was best friends with a boy named Luke Skywalker, who'd never known his parents, who always seemed out of place on Tatooine, whose aunt and uncle told him not to dream. But Luke dreamed every day, thanks to Biggs. It was their secret pact. Biggs told his friend about the secret uniform. They pledged that one day they would serve in a uniform somewhere together.
The only uniforms they knew belonged to the officers of the fleet in the Empire. On Tatooine the Empire meant nothing. All Biggs cared was that the Empire had no connection to the Hutts. He imagined that those officers were the only force in the galaxy that opposed further Hutt tyranny.
When he grew of age, Biggs submitted his application to the training academy immediately. He'd told Luke they'd enter together, but Luke's uncle had forbidden even the thought so many times they both suspected it would never happen. Biggs couldn't afford for his own dream to be denied. Mos Eisley grew more dangerous as the years progressed. He hadn't been there in ages. His kind was no longer welcome. Where else was he to go but somewhere far away from Tatooine? And how else was he going to go but as a cadet in the Imperial fleet?
He said goodbye to Luke. He said goodbye to his parents, but that was only in words. He'd left them behind long ago. He wanted so much more than his father's abject fate.
With his fellow recruits, Biggs quickly learned much more about the Empire. He found out how other worlds viewed it, and how it viewed the galaxy. He studied its history, which was shorter than he'd thought. One day, he discovered that he'd made a terrible mistake, and so he ran away. He didn't know where to go, so he went back home. And he went to Mos Eisley.
There, he met some new friends, malcontents. This was how he first learned of the Rebellion. Eventually, he volunteered to join a new fleet, to be one of its first officers. He'd received enough training from the Empire that his rank was quickly elevated to considerable importance among his new allies. But Biggs remained humble. When it came time to fly the new fleet's considerably smaller ships, he said he'd be willing to pilot one himself. They were similar to what he'd known on Tatooine, after all.
When he learned that Luke had joined the cause, Biggs was ecstatic. Finally they were reunited! They would fly and fight and dream together once again!
When the assault on the Empire's dreaded Death Star occurred, Biggs allowed Luke to take point in their team. His ship took a hit in the attack, and he thought he was a goner. But when his ship crashed, Biggs somehow survived. He'd jettisoned in time. He always had good instincts.
He made his way into the bowels of the massive starbase. All of these Imperial forces were concentrated on the Rebel ships. None of them had considered the possibility of infiltration, just as the Rebel plan itself hadn't. And yet, there Biggs was.
He made his way to the power core. He had an explosive with him. He was totally alone. He had no idea what was going on around him. And no one was paying the slightest attention to him.
Biggs destroyed the Death Star.
(Writer's note: Although not directly inspired by it, readers who enjoy this story would do well to read Dark Horse's excellent Darklighter graphic novel.)
Thursday, March 13, 2014
101 Star Wars Variations 3: Palpatine v. Skywalker
A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, there existed two families who engaged in a millennium of blood feud. By the time it ended, no one remembered how it began, and so history began to fill it up with stories, to fit the epic nature of the conflict. History proved very inventive indeed.
The truth is, the truly always was, this was a matter between House Palpatine and House Skywalker. They were political contenders, leading figures of a vast Galactic Republic, sparring neighbors from Naboo and Tatooine. They slung dirt at each other. They accused each other of ridiculous things. They exaggerated the record.
The Palpatines said the Skywalkers were backward degenerates, little better than provincial pretenders, whose lineage wasn't important enough to be taken seriously. The Skywalkers said the Palpatines were war-mongering elitists, who were interested in little more than pursuing their own selfish, manipulative agendas.
Maybe there was truth to both sides. The louder the war of words became, the more people took sides. It was quite a spectacle. And, I remind you, this was dragged out for a thousand years, generation after generation of Palpatines and Skywalkers, father to son to father to son.
Eventually, by the end, everyone had stopped paying attention. Once again, only the Palpatines and Skywalkers truly cared. By this point, when no one was paying attention anymore, it was easier to actually achieve what they'd wanted all along.
And so one day a Palpatine asked a Skywalker, Will you join forces with me? And the Skywalker agreed. And that was how it finally ended. The two families worked together, and it was perfect harmony, so perfect it couldn't last, not the way the blood feud had. It ended within two decades.
And everyone moved on.
The truth is, the truly always was, this was a matter between House Palpatine and House Skywalker. They were political contenders, leading figures of a vast Galactic Republic, sparring neighbors from Naboo and Tatooine. They slung dirt at each other. They accused each other of ridiculous things. They exaggerated the record.
The Palpatines said the Skywalkers were backward degenerates, little better than provincial pretenders, whose lineage wasn't important enough to be taken seriously. The Skywalkers said the Palpatines were war-mongering elitists, who were interested in little more than pursuing their own selfish, manipulative agendas.
Maybe there was truth to both sides. The louder the war of words became, the more people took sides. It was quite a spectacle. And, I remind you, this was dragged out for a thousand years, generation after generation of Palpatines and Skywalkers, father to son to father to son.
Eventually, by the end, everyone had stopped paying attention. Once again, only the Palpatines and Skywalkers truly cared. By this point, when no one was paying attention anymore, it was easier to actually achieve what they'd wanted all along.
And so one day a Palpatine asked a Skywalker, Will you join forces with me? And the Skywalker agreed. And that was how it finally ended. The two families worked together, and it was perfect harmony, so perfect it couldn't last, not the way the blood feud had. It ended within two decades.
And everyone moved on.
Sunday, February 23, 2014
101 Star Wars Variations 2: Han Shot First
Han Solo shot first.
What I mean is, he's the one who started the series of events that led to the destruction of the first Death Star. It began, actually, despite popular belief, with his theft of the technical plans for the superweapon. You might have heard differently.
The truth is, that's why he was being pursued by the Imperial fleet when he dumped his cargo load, the smuggled goods that were meant to continue his cover as an operative of Jabba the Hutt, the job that landed him in such hot water, that led to the bounty on his head, his encasement in carbon freeze at Cloud City by Boba Fett, and eventual rescue by the same allies he'd been assigned from the start, Princess Leia and Luke Skywalker.
I know the stories you've heard. It was Leia who stole the plans, downloaded them into a droid and jettisoned it in orbit of the desert world Tatooine. Han himself randomly enters the picture when Skywalker comes into possession of the droid, which insists on the meeting with Obi-Wan Kenobi and the need for a ride to rescue Leia, who just so happens to be a prisoner aboard the Death Star.
Really. Stop and think about that for a moment.
The truth is, none of what resulted would have happened if Han hadn't been an agent of the Rebellion all along. Random chance doesn't put together such crucial alliances like that.
Han's ship, the heavily modified Millennium Falcon, was a ship he'd won from a bet with Cloud City administrator Lando Calrissian, a man who at the time of Han's capture there was in known collusion with the Empire, and who had also authorized Fett to operate in the open. Don't these coincidences strike you as a little forced? Why do I have to explain any of this to you?
The real sequence of events:
Han steals the technical schematics. He brings them with him to Tatooine, where he knows an old hermit living there is really one of the last Jedi, Kenobi. He also knows, as does the whole Rebellion, that Darth Vader is really Anakin Skywalker, the father of young Luke, who at this point is being raised by his uncle Owen. He implants the plans into a droid, ensures Uncle Owen purchases the droid, and as Skywalker is cleaning the droid for service he stumbles into the recording of Leia asking for the assistance of Kenobi. Skywalker is intrigued. He seeks out Kenobi, heads to Mos Eisley spaceport, and runs into the only available pilot, Han himself, willing to take the job of transporting them to Alderaan.
Except, Han knows they'll never reach there. He knows all about the Death Star. He's headed there now because it's the one place the bounty hunters Jabba contracted against him won't go. With Vader focused on his old enemy Kenobi and his son Luke, he'll prevent Han's dangerous position from being exposed, make sure everyone is focused on the wrong targets. To the Imperial forces, Han is no longer the man who stole the crucial schematics but rather just another ally of the men who must be eliminated at all cost.
After rescuing Leia, they manage to escape, because someone, namely the clever Governor Tarkin, is smart enough to realize what's really going on, a tracking device safely hidden aboard the Falcon. Maybe Han knows this. Maybe he's planned this all along to force the crisis that will draw the Death Star into direct conflict with the Rebels.
He stays away from the actual assault, of course. To Skywalker and Leia, he's exactly the random ally history remembers him as, certainly no one who would be looking to actively fight on the side of the Rebellion. Except he returns at exactly the right moment, when Skywalker needs that last little bit of assistance to deliver the volley that destroys the Death Star.
Han begins to work openly with the Rebels. The bounty hunters are still after him. The Empire, which usually has nothing to do with such scum, begins working directly with them, and the convergence at Cloud City occurs. Except this is another con job, Calrissian another plant. Who better to ensure Han's safety, make the recommendation for carbon freeze rather than anything else Fett might have had in mind?
Later, in the operation that destroys the second Death Star and ends the Empire, both Han and Calrissian are actively working as top level soldiers of the Rebellion.
None of this ever caused you to wonder? Well, now you know. The only man capable of sabotaging his efforts, Tarkin, is lost in the destruction of the first Death Star, and Vader is sidetracked immediately by his obsession with Skywalker, a necessary conflict that allows the destruction of the second Death Star to end the Empire. It all makes sense, doesn't it?
So, Han shot first.
What I mean is, he's the one who started the series of events that led to the destruction of the first Death Star. It began, actually, despite popular belief, with his theft of the technical plans for the superweapon. You might have heard differently.
The truth is, that's why he was being pursued by the Imperial fleet when he dumped his cargo load, the smuggled goods that were meant to continue his cover as an operative of Jabba the Hutt, the job that landed him in such hot water, that led to the bounty on his head, his encasement in carbon freeze at Cloud City by Boba Fett, and eventual rescue by the same allies he'd been assigned from the start, Princess Leia and Luke Skywalker.
I know the stories you've heard. It was Leia who stole the plans, downloaded them into a droid and jettisoned it in orbit of the desert world Tatooine. Han himself randomly enters the picture when Skywalker comes into possession of the droid, which insists on the meeting with Obi-Wan Kenobi and the need for a ride to rescue Leia, who just so happens to be a prisoner aboard the Death Star.
Really. Stop and think about that for a moment.
The truth is, none of what resulted would have happened if Han hadn't been an agent of the Rebellion all along. Random chance doesn't put together such crucial alliances like that.
Han's ship, the heavily modified Millennium Falcon, was a ship he'd won from a bet with Cloud City administrator Lando Calrissian, a man who at the time of Han's capture there was in known collusion with the Empire, and who had also authorized Fett to operate in the open. Don't these coincidences strike you as a little forced? Why do I have to explain any of this to you?
The real sequence of events:
Han steals the technical schematics. He brings them with him to Tatooine, where he knows an old hermit living there is really one of the last Jedi, Kenobi. He also knows, as does the whole Rebellion, that Darth Vader is really Anakin Skywalker, the father of young Luke, who at this point is being raised by his uncle Owen. He implants the plans into a droid, ensures Uncle Owen purchases the droid, and as Skywalker is cleaning the droid for service he stumbles into the recording of Leia asking for the assistance of Kenobi. Skywalker is intrigued. He seeks out Kenobi, heads to Mos Eisley spaceport, and runs into the only available pilot, Han himself, willing to take the job of transporting them to Alderaan.
Except, Han knows they'll never reach there. He knows all about the Death Star. He's headed there now because it's the one place the bounty hunters Jabba contracted against him won't go. With Vader focused on his old enemy Kenobi and his son Luke, he'll prevent Han's dangerous position from being exposed, make sure everyone is focused on the wrong targets. To the Imperial forces, Han is no longer the man who stole the crucial schematics but rather just another ally of the men who must be eliminated at all cost.
After rescuing Leia, they manage to escape, because someone, namely the clever Governor Tarkin, is smart enough to realize what's really going on, a tracking device safely hidden aboard the Falcon. Maybe Han knows this. Maybe he's planned this all along to force the crisis that will draw the Death Star into direct conflict with the Rebels.
He stays away from the actual assault, of course. To Skywalker and Leia, he's exactly the random ally history remembers him as, certainly no one who would be looking to actively fight on the side of the Rebellion. Except he returns at exactly the right moment, when Skywalker needs that last little bit of assistance to deliver the volley that destroys the Death Star.
Han begins to work openly with the Rebels. The bounty hunters are still after him. The Empire, which usually has nothing to do with such scum, begins working directly with them, and the convergence at Cloud City occurs. Except this is another con job, Calrissian another plant. Who better to ensure Han's safety, make the recommendation for carbon freeze rather than anything else Fett might have had in mind?
Later, in the operation that destroys the second Death Star and ends the Empire, both Han and Calrissian are actively working as top level soldiers of the Rebellion.
None of this ever caused you to wonder? Well, now you know. The only man capable of sabotaging his efforts, Tarkin, is lost in the destruction of the first Death Star, and Vader is sidetracked immediately by his obsession with Skywalker, a necessary conflict that allows the destruction of the second Death Star to end the Empire. It all makes sense, doesn't it?
So, Han shot first.
Monday, February 17, 2014
101 Star Wars Variations: The Kenobi Job
Don't believe everything you hear.
At the end of the Dark Age, for instance, when the Galactic Empire was brought down with the destruction of the Death Star, the man responsible was an old hermit named Ben Kenobi.
Kenobi had lived most of his life on the desert world of Tatooine, on the fringe of Republic territory, best known for being under the control of the Hutts. It was here where the hermit met the moisture farmer Luke Skywalker and pirate Han Solo, both of whom accompanied him on the fateful voyage to the Death Star.
You may have heard some fanciful things about Kenobi and even Skywalker, whom some legends connect with the Imperial commander known as Darth Vader, who was suspected to be related in some way to a prisoner being held aboard the Death Star at that time, Princess Leia of Alderaan, a world famously obliterated by the superweapon for demonstration purposes. Vader was sometimes referred to as Lord Vader, which has led to speculation that he was at least some kind of royalty.
Perhaps you were expecting me to talk about his relationship to the Sith cult, which itself was an offshoot of the Jedi cult. Don't be silly. No such cult ever existed, at least not until recent times, a fallacy dedicated to a myth, the so-called "Force" that both Vader and Kenobi were said to wield.
Since all of the people I referenced were lost in the destruction of the Death Star, it's easy to believe any of the wild stories that have sprung up about them over the centuries. No one likes to believe Kenobi was capable of destroying such a great technological terror. So instead of a hermit, he was a Jedi, who survived a great purge begun by Vader, who betrayed Kenobi in the process. Kenobi's life on Tatooine becomes a romantic exile story, watching over the young Skywalker.
Except it's not true. Kenobi was an agent of the old Republic, before the Dark Age, a loyal soldier of the Clone Army, like all of them a clone of Jango Fett, one of the first. By the fall of the old Republic, he'd been discharged from service, and Tatooine was the place of his retirement.
Except Kenobi never retired. He'd stolen the plans for the Death Star at some point in the transition process between the old Republic and the Galactic Empire. If there were any relationships between those aboard the Death Star in its final hours, it's likely that there truly had been one between Kenobi and Vader, and that it had been Kenobi who betrayed Vader, not the other way around. Vader remained a loyalist, despite obvious flaws in the government even we can see centuries later as a despotism that crushed democracy and consolidated power across countless star systems. Kenobi would be a classic freedom fighter, then.
But certainly not a Jedi. Again, there was never any such thing. Neither he nor Vader nor anyone else ever handled the mystical powers of the Force. Imagine such a thing! Although such knights of valor would truly prove useful, whether in those days or ours, although I doubt their overall effectiveness would be anything to note in the grand scheme. Any knight requires extensive training. A knight with extraordinary abilities? Far too rare to count on. Even if they existed...
It's not worth speculating about, really.
Kenobi became a hermit, waiting for the day the Death Star became a reality. In all the years he waited, he did indeed become friends with the young moisture farmer Skywalker, and it was Han Solo who flew them off Tatooine. All three are registered in Mos Eisley flight records that exist to this day, thanks to the diligence of the Hutts.
Using old access codes, Kenobi would have had everything he needed to accomplish the job. There's no mystery there. If he had access to the plans at all, it would stand to reason that before his retirement Kenobi had been an important soldier in the Clone Army. He is in fact listed in the records as a general.
Why, then, do the legends persist that suggest something else happened? That not only Skywalker, but Han Solo and Princess Leia, not to mention Vader, survived, that it was in fact Skywalker who accomplished the destruction of the Death Star? Because people like their romantic fables. If you listen to those legends, their patent lies are so transparent, they're easy to ignore for the enlightened individual.
No, it was only Kenobi, an old soldier, a hermit, a hero, a martyr. It's this man we should celebrate on Republic Day.
At the end of the Dark Age, for instance, when the Galactic Empire was brought down with the destruction of the Death Star, the man responsible was an old hermit named Ben Kenobi.
Kenobi had lived most of his life on the desert world of Tatooine, on the fringe of Republic territory, best known for being under the control of the Hutts. It was here where the hermit met the moisture farmer Luke Skywalker and pirate Han Solo, both of whom accompanied him on the fateful voyage to the Death Star.
You may have heard some fanciful things about Kenobi and even Skywalker, whom some legends connect with the Imperial commander known as Darth Vader, who was suspected to be related in some way to a prisoner being held aboard the Death Star at that time, Princess Leia of Alderaan, a world famously obliterated by the superweapon for demonstration purposes. Vader was sometimes referred to as Lord Vader, which has led to speculation that he was at least some kind of royalty.
Perhaps you were expecting me to talk about his relationship to the Sith cult, which itself was an offshoot of the Jedi cult. Don't be silly. No such cult ever existed, at least not until recent times, a fallacy dedicated to a myth, the so-called "Force" that both Vader and Kenobi were said to wield.
Since all of the people I referenced were lost in the destruction of the Death Star, it's easy to believe any of the wild stories that have sprung up about them over the centuries. No one likes to believe Kenobi was capable of destroying such a great technological terror. So instead of a hermit, he was a Jedi, who survived a great purge begun by Vader, who betrayed Kenobi in the process. Kenobi's life on Tatooine becomes a romantic exile story, watching over the young Skywalker.
Except it's not true. Kenobi was an agent of the old Republic, before the Dark Age, a loyal soldier of the Clone Army, like all of them a clone of Jango Fett, one of the first. By the fall of the old Republic, he'd been discharged from service, and Tatooine was the place of his retirement.
Except Kenobi never retired. He'd stolen the plans for the Death Star at some point in the transition process between the old Republic and the Galactic Empire. If there were any relationships between those aboard the Death Star in its final hours, it's likely that there truly had been one between Kenobi and Vader, and that it had been Kenobi who betrayed Vader, not the other way around. Vader remained a loyalist, despite obvious flaws in the government even we can see centuries later as a despotism that crushed democracy and consolidated power across countless star systems. Kenobi would be a classic freedom fighter, then.
But certainly not a Jedi. Again, there was never any such thing. Neither he nor Vader nor anyone else ever handled the mystical powers of the Force. Imagine such a thing! Although such knights of valor would truly prove useful, whether in those days or ours, although I doubt their overall effectiveness would be anything to note in the grand scheme. Any knight requires extensive training. A knight with extraordinary abilities? Far too rare to count on. Even if they existed...
It's not worth speculating about, really.
Kenobi became a hermit, waiting for the day the Death Star became a reality. In all the years he waited, he did indeed become friends with the young moisture farmer Skywalker, and it was Han Solo who flew them off Tatooine. All three are registered in Mos Eisley flight records that exist to this day, thanks to the diligence of the Hutts.
Using old access codes, Kenobi would have had everything he needed to accomplish the job. There's no mystery there. If he had access to the plans at all, it would stand to reason that before his retirement Kenobi had been an important soldier in the Clone Army. He is in fact listed in the records as a general.
Why, then, do the legends persist that suggest something else happened? That not only Skywalker, but Han Solo and Princess Leia, not to mention Vader, survived, that it was in fact Skywalker who accomplished the destruction of the Death Star? Because people like their romantic fables. If you listen to those legends, their patent lies are so transparent, they're easy to ignore for the enlightened individual.
No, it was only Kenobi, an old soldier, a hermit, a hero, a martyr. It's this man we should celebrate on Republic Day.
Monday, January 20, 2014
Monkey Flip: NOVA 2013 Recap
Alex Helton begins the year as an improbable lead act of the fledgling but increasingly popular wrestling promotion known as NOVA. For a few months, "popular" means really only among the best informed fans, in a strictly cult sense. The company is doing such poor business that in March and April it appears everyone is working not year to year or even month to month, but rather week to week. Brash owner Colt Carson is quick to assure them that everything is fine, everything is okay, the money will be there. And miraculously, business improves in May.
For Alex, May is not as wonderful as it is for everyone else. He's booked to lose his second straight iPPV match, which is a rematch against Oliver Pine, who took the kendo championship from him at April's Fluid Karma. Losing to Oliver again at Smokin' Aces only further hurts his momentum. It helps that they have a far better match this time. Alex is so hesitant in the early going, he's afraid that he's letting them both down, but something clicks after a few minutes. Oliver starts innovating. That's the whole idea of this particular gimmick match. If either of them were only doing the expected, they would be hurting everyone in the long-term, no matter what Carson thinks. By doing something special, they make NOVA itself special. It's the one thing Alex is brave enough to say to Oliver before the match. Back in the locker room, after they've finished performing, the boys give Alex a standing ovation. Perhaps it's when Carson sees this that he decides Alex is ready to take the next step. At June's iPPV, Alex will be facing Carson himself.
Maybe it helps Alex's ego a little, when he learns what Billy Swift's fate will be on the same card, Alpha Dog. It'll be Billy's last card with NOVA. He's being buried, in a blow-off match against Nemo, a similar competitor, just one month after his big splash. If Alex had faced similar circumstances just a few months ago, how would that have affected his career? Billy will struggle, at first. He'll head back to Canada, where talent toils in obscurity. Although it is excellent breeding ground, Canada is no place to make a name for yourself in this business. A few years from now, Billy will reemerge, rechristened from Thunderbolt to the Canadian Dragon, and then begin competing under his own name for the first time. He will become a great success, and that will be only the beginning.
As he watches Billy now, though, Alex sees something very different developing. He sees resentment. What will that look like in a few years? At Alpha Dog, Alex is booked to defeat Carson, and the match comes off pretty well. Carson plays his part, and Alex pushes himself to mesh with a different style, something he'd only previously considered working alongside Scott. It seems to go well, until he reads the reaction to the match on the Internet, and then he realizes why Carson did it. To get the rub from Alex. To steal his thunder. Alex has been used.
He realizes it more keenly when he sees the plans for July's iPPV, Golden Age. Carson is booked solidly near the top of the card, in a rematch against Phil Brodeur, who in March was given the honor of unseating him as the company's champion. And Carson is booked to win. And where is Alex? Much lower, matched against one of NOVA's raw talents, Elston Hamilton, who has been struggling to find his groove. If Alex fails in this match, he'll make them both look bad, and he won't have a championship to hide under through any of it, just his wrestling skills.
As he feared, Golden Age is hardly one of his best moments, but in a spark of inspiration, Alex grabs a kendo stick near the end of the match and barely has time to warn Hamilton about it, because of course this was not featured in any of their plans and definitely not approved by management, and just starts to wail at him. One step back in terms of development, but really good for his character.
Carson, of course, is furious, but he keeps checking in with the fans, and the fans loved it, and so scripts are rewritten, and booked for August's Three Rules is a rematch with Oliver for the kendo championship. To throw everyone for a loop, Carson decides it won't be just any kendo match, but a kendo-on-a-pole match. Alex initially groans. He hates item-on-a-pole matches. As far as suspense goes, they're fine, but the payoff is exactly the opposite of everything he's tried to make his kendo matches. If fans don't agree with him, he could be looking at disaster all over again. So he talks about it with Oliver, who comes up with the idea to use the pole in the innovative fashion Alex has come to favor. And so that's what they do, and so by the time Alex has grabbed the stick, he feels comfortable to use it in exactly the sense everyone always thought it should be used in a wrestling match. Because of that first match against Oliver, the fans were even
expecting something like this. That thought had never even crossed his mind.
August marks the end of NOVA's first year in business. The exciting talent known as Ian Maust is champion as of July, someone bigger promotions had no idea what to do with. Scoring him, utilizing him, is another major and defining coup for the promotion. It energizes everyone all over again, and for Alex, has the effect of taking some of the pressure off him. No matter if he has another of NOVA's championships or not, he no longer has to be the most impressive performer in the bunch. He knows he isn't, in fact, for the first time. Seeing Ian in action, inspired, makes Alex realize that no matter what he previously thought of his own career, he still has a ways to go. If only he could tell Billy Swift that.
For the Unleashed II card, the anniversary of NOVA's first iPPV, Alex is booked against a hardcore legend, Red Hook, who was a Red Carnage Wrestling staple for years. He knows exactly what kind of match he needs to perform, and again he thanks his lucky unconscious foresight. That match goes off without a hitch. He gets the idea that he really is starting to impress Carson when he learns his Cold Snap opponent in October will be Phil. This may very well be the defining match of his run with the promotion. Understandably, Alex grows nervous. It's only when Phil speaks with him, calms him down, reminds him that everyone has a starting point, everyone wants to be their best no matter how they're booked, that he feels better. Actually, a little worse. Again, he really let Billy Swift down.
But what does Phil mean? Phil's as big a star as NOVA has seen, an indy legend, done everything there is to do outside of the Big Two. Alex realizes that Phil already knows he's accomplished everything he will ever be able to brag about, if he were the kind of guy. He will never become any bigger a star. He's gone as far as he can. Alex will at some point eclipse him, and perhaps Phil knows that, and maybe that's what he was saying, without saying it.
Their match is magnificent. At a certain point, Alex realizes he's doing things he's never even considered, much less practiced. It's insane. If he'd had a chance to think about some of them, he probably wouldn't even have attempted them. The whole match goes against everything Alex ever believed about professional wrestling. It's the best match of his career to that point. Carson acknowledges that too. For November's Thriller, Alex finds himself book in hallowed ground. He's in the main event. It's his first time ever to receive this honor.
The honor comes with a caveat, however. It'll be the first time since the very first NOVA iPPV that the main event is anything but a singles competition. It'll be a triangle match, against Ian and Ken Brand. Alex's kendo title is not even considered in the equation, nor Ken's tornado championship. Still, it's an incredible career development, completely unexpected from the point Alex was sitting in only a few months earlier, when he was convinced that his contract would be cancelled.
As with any triangle match, most of the pressure is off to even consider a normal approach. Like his recent kendo matches it'll be exactly what's expected, the impact spots, whatever makes him look best. It goes against all his ideas of what makes a good match. But the fans like the results. He always appreciates that. For December, Ian is given a match against Carson. Alex finds himself on the Sudden Impact card competing against another relatively raw talent, Dustin Wallach. Dustin is a Carson project through and through, so Alex is as aware as he's been recently that the owner's eyes are on him. The match is fine for what it is. Alex finds himself itching for a challenge again.
What does 2014 have in store for him? The same it has for any wrestler who is coming off an unexpectedly good year. It will be a challenge, all right. NOVA will grow quite a bit, and that will bring its own challenges, more spotlight that Alex will have to learn to share. He'll begin asking himself whether it's Billy Swift who should be worrying about career development...or himself...
For Alex, May is not as wonderful as it is for everyone else. He's booked to lose his second straight iPPV match, which is a rematch against Oliver Pine, who took the kendo championship from him at April's Fluid Karma. Losing to Oliver again at Smokin' Aces only further hurts his momentum. It helps that they have a far better match this time. Alex is so hesitant in the early going, he's afraid that he's letting them both down, but something clicks after a few minutes. Oliver starts innovating. That's the whole idea of this particular gimmick match. If either of them were only doing the expected, they would be hurting everyone in the long-term, no matter what Carson thinks. By doing something special, they make NOVA itself special. It's the one thing Alex is brave enough to say to Oliver before the match. Back in the locker room, after they've finished performing, the boys give Alex a standing ovation. Perhaps it's when Carson sees this that he decides Alex is ready to take the next step. At June's iPPV, Alex will be facing Carson himself.
Maybe it helps Alex's ego a little, when he learns what Billy Swift's fate will be on the same card, Alpha Dog. It'll be Billy's last card with NOVA. He's being buried, in a blow-off match against Nemo, a similar competitor, just one month after his big splash. If Alex had faced similar circumstances just a few months ago, how would that have affected his career? Billy will struggle, at first. He'll head back to Canada, where talent toils in obscurity. Although it is excellent breeding ground, Canada is no place to make a name for yourself in this business. A few years from now, Billy will reemerge, rechristened from Thunderbolt to the Canadian Dragon, and then begin competing under his own name for the first time. He will become a great success, and that will be only the beginning.
As he watches Billy now, though, Alex sees something very different developing. He sees resentment. What will that look like in a few years? At Alpha Dog, Alex is booked to defeat Carson, and the match comes off pretty well. Carson plays his part, and Alex pushes himself to mesh with a different style, something he'd only previously considered working alongside Scott. It seems to go well, until he reads the reaction to the match on the Internet, and then he realizes why Carson did it. To get the rub from Alex. To steal his thunder. Alex has been used.
He realizes it more keenly when he sees the plans for July's iPPV, Golden Age. Carson is booked solidly near the top of the card, in a rematch against Phil Brodeur, who in March was given the honor of unseating him as the company's champion. And Carson is booked to win. And where is Alex? Much lower, matched against one of NOVA's raw talents, Elston Hamilton, who has been struggling to find his groove. If Alex fails in this match, he'll make them both look bad, and he won't have a championship to hide under through any of it, just his wrestling skills.
As he feared, Golden Age is hardly one of his best moments, but in a spark of inspiration, Alex grabs a kendo stick near the end of the match and barely has time to warn Hamilton about it, because of course this was not featured in any of their plans and definitely not approved by management, and just starts to wail at him. One step back in terms of development, but really good for his character.
Carson, of course, is furious, but he keeps checking in with the fans, and the fans loved it, and so scripts are rewritten, and booked for August's Three Rules is a rematch with Oliver for the kendo championship. To throw everyone for a loop, Carson decides it won't be just any kendo match, but a kendo-on-a-pole match. Alex initially groans. He hates item-on-a-pole matches. As far as suspense goes, they're fine, but the payoff is exactly the opposite of everything he's tried to make his kendo matches. If fans don't agree with him, he could be looking at disaster all over again. So he talks about it with Oliver, who comes up with the idea to use the pole in the innovative fashion Alex has come to favor. And so that's what they do, and so by the time Alex has grabbed the stick, he feels comfortable to use it in exactly the sense everyone always thought it should be used in a wrestling match. Because of that first match against Oliver, the fans were even
expecting something like this. That thought had never even crossed his mind.
August marks the end of NOVA's first year in business. The exciting talent known as Ian Maust is champion as of July, someone bigger promotions had no idea what to do with. Scoring him, utilizing him, is another major and defining coup for the promotion. It energizes everyone all over again, and for Alex, has the effect of taking some of the pressure off him. No matter if he has another of NOVA's championships or not, he no longer has to be the most impressive performer in the bunch. He knows he isn't, in fact, for the first time. Seeing Ian in action, inspired, makes Alex realize that no matter what he previously thought of his own career, he still has a ways to go. If only he could tell Billy Swift that.
For the Unleashed II card, the anniversary of NOVA's first iPPV, Alex is booked against a hardcore legend, Red Hook, who was a Red Carnage Wrestling staple for years. He knows exactly what kind of match he needs to perform, and again he thanks his lucky unconscious foresight. That match goes off without a hitch. He gets the idea that he really is starting to impress Carson when he learns his Cold Snap opponent in October will be Phil. This may very well be the defining match of his run with the promotion. Understandably, Alex grows nervous. It's only when Phil speaks with him, calms him down, reminds him that everyone has a starting point, everyone wants to be their best no matter how they're booked, that he feels better. Actually, a little worse. Again, he really let Billy Swift down.
But what does Phil mean? Phil's as big a star as NOVA has seen, an indy legend, done everything there is to do outside of the Big Two. Alex realizes that Phil already knows he's accomplished everything he will ever be able to brag about, if he were the kind of guy. He will never become any bigger a star. He's gone as far as he can. Alex will at some point eclipse him, and perhaps Phil knows that, and maybe that's what he was saying, without saying it.
Their match is magnificent. At a certain point, Alex realizes he's doing things he's never even considered, much less practiced. It's insane. If he'd had a chance to think about some of them, he probably wouldn't even have attempted them. The whole match goes against everything Alex ever believed about professional wrestling. It's the best match of his career to that point. Carson acknowledges that too. For November's Thriller, Alex finds himself book in hallowed ground. He's in the main event. It's his first time ever to receive this honor.
The honor comes with a caveat, however. It'll be the first time since the very first NOVA iPPV that the main event is anything but a singles competition. It'll be a triangle match, against Ian and Ken Brand. Alex's kendo title is not even considered in the equation, nor Ken's tornado championship. Still, it's an incredible career development, completely unexpected from the point Alex was sitting in only a few months earlier, when he was convinced that his contract would be cancelled.
As with any triangle match, most of the pressure is off to even consider a normal approach. Like his recent kendo matches it'll be exactly what's expected, the impact spots, whatever makes him look best. It goes against all his ideas of what makes a good match. But the fans like the results. He always appreciates that. For December, Ian is given a match against Carson. Alex finds himself on the Sudden Impact card competing against another relatively raw talent, Dustin Wallach. Dustin is a Carson project through and through, so Alex is as aware as he's been recently that the owner's eyes are on him. The match is fine for what it is. Alex finds himself itching for a challenge again.
What does 2014 have in store for him? The same it has for any wrestler who is coming off an unexpectedly good year. It will be a challenge, all right. NOVA will grow quite a bit, and that will bring its own challenges, more spotlight that Alex will have to learn to share. He'll begin asking himself whether it's Billy Swift who should be worrying about career development...or himself...
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