The Joker's Pal, Bruce Wayne

Gosh, if this one ain't embarrassing...

So, as it turns out, while somewhere in that troubled mind of his, the Joker knows that Batman is Bruce Wayne, and that therefore Bruce Wayne should be considered an enemy, or at least mildly obstructive, the Clown Prince actually considers Wayne to be his friend.

No, really! There's very little research possible to explain a mind like the Joker's, but it's true. While Batman, and certainly therefore Bruce Wayne, considers Joker to be a homicidal menace, Joker himself actually views Wayne as something of an asset. You see, while Wayne has carried on the family legacy of funding the future of Gotham, there's any number of ways that the Joker can think of where Wayne is actually helping him most of all.

The most obvious way is that Wayne is a distraction, time spent away from the cowl and immediate business of the Dark Knight. The Joker doesn't do distractions. He doesn't even admit setbacks. He's constantly recalculating. There's a reason why he's Arkham's most escaped inmate. A man without real plans and without a real future, much less a real past, that's a man who is truly unhinged from just about every possible iteration of a normal life. No amount of psychological study can account for the Joker. He's not even a sociopath. He can't be categorized as crazy. He operates on a completely different playing field. If you asked him nicely, he might even admit that Batman himself is a friend.

But we're not here to discuss that. Right now, the subject is Bruce Wayne, and Bruce Wayne alone.

So, for a man who doesn't acknowledge distractions in his own life, the living personification of the distraction in what would conventionally considered his mortal enemy probably wouldn't be the explanation to go with. Wayne is not the Joker's pal because of or despite the connection with Batman. Perhaps he values the idea of the split personality, but again, the Joker doesn't display any regular pattern for that, either. He makes that up as he goes along.

It's worse than that. It's not even to do with all his wealth.

It's the fact that Wayne is an almost completely isolated man. To the Joker's mind, Wayne does everything to make sure everyone leaves him alone. If there's any method to the Joker's madness, that may be it, the explanation, the hole in things, the missing piece. In order to get what he wants, Wayne is willing to go to extraordinary lengths, and so is the Joker. Again, not necessarily to do with Batman or the privilege of wealth. Very few people dedicate themselves so thoroughly, regardless of the means or ends, as Joker has found in Bruce Wayne.

You might find a picture of Wayne on the Joker's nightstand, if he had one. It's doubtful that he even sleeps. If there's any mask that the Joker puts on, it's probably to attend the latest Wayne press conference, hiding in plain sight, another fine joke. In fact, the Joker, when he isn't locked away, should always be the most visible man in the world, and yet, somehow he isn't. He doesn't lack in subtlety, instead when it amuses him. And Bruce Wayne amuses the Joker. He's the Clown Prince's pal, if he needed one.

A Conspiracy of Dead Men

When a celebrity dies unexpectedly, it's usually a sign that they've been drafted into the conspiracy. Sorry, the Conspiracy. Very few people know anything about this conspiracy, because it's the ultimate fraternity. You have to be a "dead" celebrity. The only reason why the Conspiracy is known at all is because of all the random sightings of celebrities who are supposed to be dead, Elvis being probably the most famous example.

Part of why I'm telling you any of this is because it was recently confirmed that John Lennon was indeed a part of the Conspiracy. One would assume, as with anyone who dies unexpectedly, that having left a fair bit of family behind, it would have been a pretty asshole move for Lennon to bail on his very young sons, but I don't pretend to know the exact reasons why a celebrity would agree to join the Conspiracy, only that it exists. What this organization does with these celebrities is anyone's guess.

But as I said, it was recently confirmed that Lennon was indeed a part of it, thanks to a sighting in Grand Rapids, MI, of all places. There had been a Beatles tribute concert in town the previous weekend, and many who attended were convinced of the considerable authenticity of the singer who portrayed John. Given the reports, it's not unlikely that Lennon actually played himself. If it were indeed true, it would be a remarkable development for him. What he was doing lingering about in town after the concert is also anyone's guess.

There is further speculation that he was there to spend some time with Buddy Holly, perhaps one of the most notorious and successful members of the Conspiracy, which also includes, among others, Andy Kaufman, JFK, and if fresh rumors are to be believed, Michael Jackson. Holly, who would have to be among the senior living members of the Conspiracy, may also be a founding father, and an early idol of Lennon, perhaps the very reason why the former Beatle decided to join in the first place.

The corroborated reports of Lennon's activities, which of course are denied by officials at every level of the Grand Rapids civic authorities, suggest that he skipped town shortly after having coffee at Starbucks with an elderly gentleman, who is now believed to be Holly. It's likely that all such meetings of the Conspiracy are conducted in this fashion.

Recent speculation has it that the Conspiracy simply wishes to observe the continuing impact of its members, if not out of vanity, then out of curiosity. One of the members most likely to have enjoyed what he's seen since joining must surely be Tupak Shakur, whose legacy has only expanded since his "death."

As always, I will keep you informed...

Welcome to Sigild V

I intend to explain the name of this new writing endeavor, but in due time. For the moment, as it begins and expands, Sigild V represents a bold new era in Internet fiction. No story will represent, at least in individual posts, more than a few pages of text, so you will not be forced to read short stories that represent short novels or even short novellas. You will receive only the best in storytelling intrigue. Bold ideas and bold storytelling, that's the name of the game. New stories will be posted as often as I write them, which will be frequently. The plan is to develop a whole team of writers with similar goals, until we revolutionize the face of fiction itself. Bold...and a little crazy. That's Sigild V!